Sunday, 30 August 2009

adult SMS Jokes

1:-) She took off his pants and whispered: Make me feel like a woman. He smiled, threw the pants at her and said: Go, wash them!

2:-( Survey reveals that every woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at the same time..... One cleaning and the other cooking!

3;-) A nun was advised urine test and her sample got mixed up by mistake. Her doctor told her that she was pregnant. Oh no,she cried,we can´t even trust the candles now!

4:-D All eggs decide to fight against the sperm.They wait with guns in the pussy, but that night no one comes. Suddenly one egg shouts: Aaj humla peecche se ho raha hai!

5:-l A lady was interviewing a tribal chief. He said: Me fuck many man, women and animals. Lady said: Oh dear! He said: No deer, hole too high and run cery fast!

6:-) To avoid condom accidents, use two condoms with chilli powder in between. If outer breaks she will know. If inner breaks you will know!

7:-( A lady who lost 3 panties in her house blamed the maid in front of her husband. The maid replied: Saab, aapko to maloom hai ki main kucch nahin pahenti!

8;-) Why do women wear printed flower panties? Its a way of saying: In the memory of those buried here!

9:-D Women have four types of sex: 1.Asthmatic - Ah aah,ah,ah 2.Obidient - Yes oh yes ah yes 3.Greedy - More,more more please 4.Religious - Oh God,oh god!

10:-l How does a cricket commentator describe nude girl? No cover, no extra cover, two points, two fine legs, a gully and a little bit of grass!

11:-) If God made the upper part of a woman, who built the lower half? A nigger! Why? Well, who else would give it curly hair, thick lips and make it smell like Africa!

12:-( The sad life of a penis: I only have one eye, my hair is a mess, my skin is wrinkly, my relatives are nuts, my neighbour is an asshole and my best friend is a cunt!

13;-) Four animals found inside a woman´s panty: Pussy, hare, ass, an occasional cock!

14:-D Good manners of a male penis: 1.Courteous - It stands before performing 2.Emotional - It cries during the performance 3.Polite - It bows down after the performance!

15:-l How to use pre-paid sex: 1.Scratch the protective panty 2.Press the nipple 3.Enter the pussy 4.A voice will confirm if your entry is successful. Aah! Ooh! Sucksexfull!

16:-) 25 useless things in a man´s body: 20 nails you can´t hammer, 2 tits you can´t milk, 1 cock that doesn´t crow and 2 balls you can´t throw!

17:-( US Prez nominee Kerry´s wife shaves off her pubic hair and sits on the stage flashing her legs apart without wearing panties. Her message? Read my LIPS, no BUSH!

18;-) What does a girl mean when she offers you a PEPSI? Please Enter Penis Slowly Inside - Aha!Yeh dil maange more!PEPSI ke liye hum besharam hai!

19:-D LADY: Doc, I have got brown discharge. Is it infection? DOC: How often do you have sex? LADY: Once in a month. DOC: Yeh infection nahin, JANG lag gaya hai!

20:-l BOY: Kiss karun? GIRL: Lipstick kharab hogi. BOY: Boobs daba doon? GIRL: T-Shirt kharab hogi. BOY: Fuck? GIRL: Menses mein hoon. BOY: Now don´t say loose motions!

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