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Sunday, 30 August 2009

adult Jokes part-5

81.When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy I will crave. And upon my headstone will be seen, here lies the bones of a fucking machine.

82.Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!

83.FIRST MAN: my wife is obsess with cars. While asleep, she holds my dick & say 'Ferari,Porsche...' SECOND MAN: mine is worse, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank please!'

84.A girl asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every morning they rub yours for 30 minutes and don't f**k you, you will feel the same?

85.How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down!

86.CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION: As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you!

87.*NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported to have pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and shouted, 'LIE BASTARD LIE'

88.I really, deeply wish that you are here with me in my room, on my bed with lights off & we get under the cover together.. to show you my.. new watch that glows in the dark!

89.Penis & Balls are arguing. Balls: Hey, U are very unfair! Everytime you go in you never bring us along, only you enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!

90.Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel you on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you....where are you stupid pyjamas.....!


91.I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait
to brush my teeth!

92.I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....

93.What did one saggy boob say to the other? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!
94.What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!

95.I'd willingly fertilize Mary, And watch for 9 months her shape vary, From the very first day, To the child-birth display, When her tits would turn into a dairy.

96.There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.

97.Bad wolf told red riding hood: Lift your top so i can suck your tits. 'No' she said lifting her skirt. 'Eat me like the fucking book says!'

98.Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman's destination. Do you get my explanation, or do uou need a
demonstration?!

99.MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOME. can buy a clock, but not TIME. can buy sex, but not LOVE. So pass me all your cash n let me suffer for yoU !

100.Hey! what happened to your home phone? tried calling a lot of times. everytime I dialled your no, operator kept on saying 'THE SUBSCRIBER YOU ARECALLING IS HAVING SEX, PLEASE TRY LAT

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